THE GREAT STUPID TEST—international

WELCOME TO OUR TEST CLASS ON STUPID NATIONS AND PEOPLE 101!

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Or are you just stopping by to see how stupid this stupud test can be?

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If you do not proceed with the test; grade yourself a 0, for lack of inquisitiveness.

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You will be judged harshly for any and all mistakes, including, and not excluding, near mistakes.

You have already received your initial preliminary questions! (subconsciously)

(And remember; humor does not exclude a question.)

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FIRST BASIC QUESTION (arrange into ascending order of value)

1. WHO ARE YOU?

–a. I am me.

–b. I am a cross between my parents.

–c. I am whatever sex I am.

–d. I am whatever race or culture I was born into.

–e. I am an expression of my experiences.

–f. I am because I think I am.

–g. I am not whomever you are.

–h. I do not care who you think I am.

–i. I am not taking this stupud test.

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BASIC QUESTION #2 (which answers must be false)

2. IS THERE A GOD?

a–Yes, because I was always told so.

b–Yes, because I cannot question basic assumptions.

c–Yes, because I am afraid to say no.

d–Yes, because everybody says there is.

e–Yes, because I am presumed evil to say there is not One.

f–Yes, because God talks to me.

g–Yes, because I am sure God listens to me.

h–Yes, because Somebody had to start everything.

i–Yes, so I have some insurance just in case.

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BASIC QUESTION # 3

3. WHAT ARE GODS CHARACTER TRAITS? (true or false)

a.–God is a male so He can grow a beard in space.

b.–God will burn you forever for getting His or Her name wrong.

c.–God is so jealous of us, God will have no other gods before It.

d.–God holds you up to Gods Own perfect standards of infallibility.

e.–God thus will punish you forever for having a mistake of assumption.

f.–God does not wish you to think for yourself based on empirical evidence.

g.–God is so insecure, God needs you to praise It to high heavens or you lose.

h.–God wants you to not think and just do what a book or person tells you to do.

i.–God is a concept held in by human understanding abilities, thus dependent on us.

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BASIC QUESTION #4

IF GODS WAYS ARE MYSTERIOUS, WHAT ELSE MIGHT BE TRUE? (yes or no)

a.–God waited for science (printing and satellites) to really spread Gods Word fast.

b.–Gods real children are actually the Porpoises, since they may be smarter than us.

c.–God played a tricky test on blind followers, “true believers” are then self deceived.

d.–God favored one culture somewhere, so only that concept of God is the true one.

e.–God wants Gods children to kill each other in Gods Own Name.

f.–God loves me because it feels really good for me to think so.

g.–God did not know we would kill one another in Gods name.

h.–God only speaks through special people, who probably are not me.

i.–God is everything, so conflict is a dysfunction needing resolution.

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Basic Question #5

WHAT MIGHT FOLLOW FROM YOUR ABOVE ANSWERS? (keep your responses)

a.–God will possibly punish me forever for my answers, I live under terror.

b.–God will be glad to hear I am thinking for myself and not like a robot.

c.–God will terrorize everyone for any mistake we make unknowingly.

d.–God is omnipresent and omniscient, so will thank even our struggles.

e.–God is Love and will love what we achieve in life in Loves full Name.

f.–God needs us to become one of the guiding influences of Creation.

g.–God wants us to love at all cost, to remain in the presence of God.

h.–God is sharing Its Life by giving us a chance to be free to love.

i.–God cares not what you believe, but who you become.

NOW. HOW STUPID WAS THIS TEST?

SHE’S ALIVE!!! SHE’S ALIVE!!! + still in the race?

Alloyed from ambition and a strange mixture of desire, the fabricated political creature refuses to unplug the run to the submerging goal post. Will the electro-shock to come prove to be therapy or synaptic overload?

Pointing to the constellation of stars as a sure sign of latent success; she counts on racism, reverse sexism, and the more easily manipulated less educated whites, as the grounds for her superior posture for leadership.

This is her claim to fame, her voice found after so many years of wandering alone in the deserted graveyard of public attention. Powered by that concept she once exposed that she was even her husbands key to the presidency, the inevitability of her own delusions have cleared the haze of reality out of her way, and left many a super delegate absorbed in reading the headstones.

Will this bad scifi flick end in the fairy tale world of husband and wife presidents, setting an unbeatable president that even shames the Bush family’s sorry legacy?

Now it is we who are instructed to accept her reasons over any greater hope for realities.

FOLLOW THE CROWD PLEASE

First there was the slob look, which lacking anything more enticing, became the “bed head” conformist hair style still an essential in some conformity fit in and look groovy corners.

So I have decided to up the ante. Soon everyone over half a century old will be coloring their skin and having cool hair like mine here.

And then for the cult of narrow glasses that once looked like they were for the ultra cool nerd who likes to look at their rims, but became the norm, they still look ridiculous to me. But not to be a Luddite and not follow the crowd to advancement up with the trends nirvana. I have styled my new line of glass frames that are sure to keep the Joneses biting at your heels.

Yo.

Who said American innovation was all washed up!

I know!

DAMAGING BLOGS LIKELY

TIME TO PUT ON YOUR BLOGGING HARD HATS, CAUSE WHEN THE INTERNET VOLCANO BLOWS, THE FIRE AND BRIMSTONE LAND ON YOU! You did not know that either; I know!

I often rush to post on-line, various reasons; just read an outrageous post, sever weather is breaking out somewhere, I just got to put my days photo’s on, and when will you have time later? So onward I skitter in a rush.

Well what could be wrong with that you say? Well, let me tell you.

Maybe there is a tornado watch. Maybe It includes Detroit. Maybe there is a super-cell heading towards Detroit with signs of rotation. Well then; Tornado might hit Detroit! OK. I’m exaggerating a bit to make my point here, but sometimes you hale to do hat to get attenuation.

WHAT IS MY POINT THEN ABOUT ALL THE VOLCANEOS AND BLOGGING?

Well I’m getting to it.

The next day you have the Candadian Secret Service at your door. Unbelievable. I didn’t know they had spy’s. Neither did you. I know!

Check your blog they say.

Well gussy what? I know! Mispelling errors now last a lifetime!

Toronto going to hit Detroit. What? With bombs? Slap everybody? The mind reels.

Next thing you know one of those busy booty search engines put you into a Toronto story tag:

Oh, by the way, Benafia has an interesting post on Toronto hitting Detroit, go to lower center of house if you hear the roar.

I know!

I didn’t know everyone takes thingy so seriously! Couldn’t they assume it was joust some spellchecker error I accidentally agreed to? What does Toronto have against Detroit anyway? Hooky? I know!

{ I know! is to be read with the TV’s Craig Ferguson effect. Now go back and red it that way. I Know!}

not to self; re bread before posting!

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Hey dud, this looks like the same post on another blog of yours!

I know!

That is the power of the individual and the internety tuby thingy. You can do what you want whether anyone likes it or not. Just like in real life, only there there are more consequences. At least for now. I’m tellen’ ya.

I know!

THE CHINA CONNECTION

BIG BOX QUALITY YOU CAN TRUST

Sure shareholders make a bundle off of stock market socialism, that is the pyramid schemes bottom line after all!

And we save our shrinking dollars at at the local WTO store.

But what is best of all, we are left with quality you can hold!!!!!!!

Who said things are not what they used to be?

Expensive plant light in action, approx 2 months into use.

This is the future kids; declining incomes and declining quality goods, but big incomes for savvy business people who know how to work world systems and inequalities.

Remember which political party likes to keep we the public with our blindfolds on when it comes to inequalities, the commons, environmental responsibility’s, and the responsibility’s of those who use the world way more than their share.

Remember, cause the so called party of the people is succumbing to the same money shams as the other one, the one that uses wedge issues to cover their trail. If you do not know what I am talking about. Turn on your light.

TOP SECRET OF MOST INDEPENDENT MOVIES!

I HAVE UNCOVERED THE TOP SECRET OF MOST INDEPENDENT MOVIES!

If you ever watch IFC you know what I mean!

The Secret is; get a bunch of under thirty somethings, make sure they are ready to do stupid things. Usually this requires them to be “low life’s” or grungy dysfunctional “characters” that will proceed to ruin their lives and those they encounter. While doing this, everyone must get emotional, and often extremely such.

This is all supposed to appeal to the youth demographic who either identify with lives falling apart, or get a kick out of watching those whose lives seem to be falling apart, who they can “relate” to cause they do young things.

The bread and butter of these is usually sex, violence and a heavy seasoning of profanity. Twenty five year old’s acting like five year old’s having temper tantrums but also lovers, is usually part of the unsavory stew. Add in a “shock the bourgeoisie” or else, the parent or monkey wild sensibility. Toss in a society becomes the victim plot and, vollå!

Now you are ready for gritty fame.

We just turn these cheap shots off if we notice one on, or never tune in by recognizing the plot.

Oooh! Disturbed people are having a disturbed time at life, oooh! Now that’s the main independent film makers entertainment secret. But you already knew that.

Kentucky Derby Over!

Winner was BUBBLE WRAP

Finishing second was, No Comment

Third by a nose was, Gigantic Proboscis

all other horses were losers

Actually, I could care less who won, unless one leg was an artificial one.

Now these are real horses

WAISTED COMMERCIALS

I don’t know how many months of my life have been waisted watching TV commercials. But this I do know, I never bought anything I saw advertised. Not because of seeing it on TV.

Never have or will buy a new car. Don’t care what your vacuum claims to do. I never tried to have any certain label on any of my clothing. What can I say, I’m free range, and not branded. I research products I do buy.

And since you did not ask MS. or MR. seller; I don’t care what kind of watch anyone has. Your kind of car does not impress me, unless it gets extraordinarily good mileage. I don’t need any of your credit cards. Yelling about your used cars is guaranteed to keep me away. Your just dropped prices only means others were just raised, or those were set higher than ever and now are “falling”.

If you are doing us a favor by telling us your auto plant is a pollution free wildlife habitat, I know you are covering up for something–what you make there is not pollution free and will not be helping the wildlife. If you are telling me how much your oil company is saving the world with all the woman and minority smiling employees you have–I can be certain you are covering up bad publicity that is true, with wishful promise like salivations that will be invested in about as much as your commercials over the mentioned time period.

So, although much time was waisted, very little money was. The rest of you are paying for me, or else companies are waisting all of our time, but paying for the entertainment and news, and all that erased life. Thanks for nothing!

Fresh food coming soon to a store over you.

Add a dash of D. Dees (below) paranoia as a preservative.

THE BARACK OBAMA AND JERIMIAH WRIGHT exchange=+or-?

Barack’s biggest problem seemed to have become the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The connection was seeming to have been built up into a possible downer for Obama in the future. It seems to be producing negative results as most conflicts do. The resulting schism seems to have possibly removed the future connection as a viable ammo stash. The days events may have in ways been orchestrated. Lot’s of possible seems.

These facts remain; super delegates are still only trickling in, more to Obama than Clinton since Pennsylvania. This time in the campaign may become a moment where Barack’s shoes were soiled, and with the aid of the Rev. Wright, were made good to go into the election.

It remains to be seen if the hidden prominent subtext of interracial misgivings, will come to be a most deciding factor for a significant segment of the population. Not that male and female will not also become a similar, unspoken factor for some in the booth, if traditional rolls become a reactionary guide.

During political contest; what seems obvious might be the desired result, but not a benefit to whom it first seems. Meaning; in time, a seeming negative of the moment may become a historical positive for someone, thus not the result it at first seems to be. (I have restated my original sentence in the post since it led to too many loops open to those not following my chain of thought. Thanks for your feedback, and I hope you are not even more lost after this “correction”.)

MEN FAKING IT

10 WAYS FOR MEN TO BE REAL MEN

#10. Stop being made big by others accomplishments

# 9. Just say no to Golf, or sports on TV all day

# 8. Stop having more passion for sports than people in your life

# 7. This means get a grip on your testosterone self medication addictions

# 6. Quit your self definition anxieties by idolizing others feats as your own

# 5. Realize what men can do to provide a safe place for life on earth

# 4. Real men have the courage to have compassion, empathy and understanding

# 3. Get a hold on what all life is about, and your powerful place in it

# 2. Treat women only as you would respect God, do this for men as well

# 1. Don’t follow my list, be your own life maker

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?

Just as the dates vanished from our Direct TV listings, making time itself not relative, we can be mystified by black and white, silence, or no one with a computer or cell phone.

Ah, those were the days! But when were they?

As society has its contextual frameworks evaporated, I am afraid corporations will have the mind numbed masses they seek. Where advertisers insert into the brains of unwitting tell-o-tubers, just what they should be wanting, who is bad and what is good.

What do you mean that happened long ago?

DO AS YOU ARE TOLD!

It can be suggested, since I just did, that political candidates try to invoke ones notions of a father, and now mother. To get us to identify with familiar protection and care. But not the listening kind, not the compromise and mutual regard kind like on Super Nanny. It is the do it or else kind, do it or else die at 3 o’clock in the morning kind. And I had a stepmother of that kind!

I suppose a president should know better, but we have just seen how little one need know to rule “The greatest nation like on earth like.” Reading or positioning emotions as the reasons for decision making and asking your “experts” what you are supposed to think; can’t anyone really do it the Republican way? Put the wolves in charge of the chicken house, and at least for a while, count on having some good omelets, or investments.

Of course mention Jesus! That goes without saying, like kissing babies and having a flag fest.

The one decided nominee acts like it is vacation or internment time from intellectual land, that the usual duty of that party to follow its leader will quite possible follow him right to the oval office. Many a good card game will probably ensue from the stranded caboose of the straight talking express, since the rails will have been removed for safety’s sake.

Then we have the lecturing, relentless in your face schoolmarm. She already knows it all from experience, and probably a life of lecturing someone. She is a take charge kind of guy, who at three o’clock in the morning will get on the other phone to her husband. At least that is how the campaign seems. He was not only a chick magnet apparently, but now a media one as well. In this circus he gets to send up the balloons to see which way the wind blows.

But has he morphed into a meteorologist of sorts, or a clown?

Witness now; the greatest show on earth!

DETAILS ON OUR LATE NEWS, WHEN IT WILL BE ALREADY TOO LATE.

PROBLEMS ARE SOLUTIONS

PROBLEMS. What could be wrong with them?

Is it not stress that makes for invention, for evolution, for solution itself?

So the next time you are having one, a problem that is, shout out loud; HURRAY!

HIP, HIP, HURRAY, A SOLUTION IS ON THE WAY!

or

disaster

doesn’t matter.

Who would have a problem with that?

What do you mean every solution compounds future problems?

That should then be called; interest.

No, the money kind of interest, as in compounded interest. I wish you did not have such problems with the way I say things.

Uh?

HILLARY BEHIND THE WOODSHED

It is getting scary in campaign land!

Rooten’ tooten’ Hillary Clinton is guzzling beers, downing shot’s and shooten’ deer’s. Well, she’s ready to rumble with with the down home folk like she has for 35 to how many more years?

Here. You are in the cross-hairs?

SINCE GAS HIT $10 A GALLON

HELLO END OF THE ROAD!

I wonder if we will get socialism all of a sudden when gas hits ten dollars a gallon? Will we all have to start bike riding and walking 15 miles to work then? I doubt if I will get a raise to cover the thousand dollar a month transportation cost.

Could it be they will nationalize transportation, so the poor and left over middle class could still afford to travel to clean and care for the homes of the very well to do? Maybe we will go back to the walled in estates with servants quarters. Or horse lanes along highways. Will a buss pick up hitchhikers? How about horse pulled little trains.

When gas is $10 a gallon, I guess we will all need gardens very close by. The cost of shipping most everything will have become outrageous. Will those rich or righteous right wingers still call everyone not like them whiners and losers? When the government has to intervene just to keep people alive and not dropping along the road or the sidewalk, will the conservatives still call helping them socialism; the welfare or nanny state?

We will probably find the victims of run away conservatisms greed and fear based economy, being blamed by them somehow, when gas hits $10 a gallon.

HERE’S LOOKING AT YOU!

It’s dark out. You are on I-10 leaving Tucson Arizona but cannot see clearly to San Antonio Texas. What can you do if you are cruising at 1,000 miles an hour? Well we have the answer!!!!!!

New

Macular degeneration HEADLIGHTS FOR YOUR CAR!

Now you can see forever. Who cares if it blinds the oncoming traffic. At least you will be safe! And that’s what counts!

This is to all you who do not notice how those bright bluish head-beams of yours are even more irritating that driving at oncoming traffic with the brights on.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

ENIGMATICA

(They way the tee shirt was before thinking of this post.)

THE PIED PIPER ALLEGORY

Of course I wear my underwear inside out, doesn’t everyone?

You have got to be kidding!

You mean they let those tags scratch their skin?

No! You cut them off!

And what about those ridges on the seems? You just going to let those wear away until you get cancer from the long term irritation?

OK. Just forget about the irritation points.

Your underwear is under!

Hello!

Afraid someone going to see you as being different? Oh my goodness, someones different, run quick!?

Who you impressing; the inside of your outer shirt or your pants? You conformist make me giggle. I’m glad there are just so many of you to keep the comedy show afloat.

It’s called do as you are led by appearances. Follow the conformist flow. Don’t be unique even if it makes sense to you. YOU MUST CONFORM! CONFORM. CONFORM. CONFORM. ACT NORMAL, CONFORM…

…and so they went, down to the sea cliff, and over the edge. Never to think for themselves again. But they made excellent shoppers. Knowing which way was up, all the way to the sea.

{why it is called uhsure}

BACTERIA PRINT

They say your eyes have reached their old prime at 11 or 12 years old, then it is all down hill.

Well I remember being a little worried then. What do they mean? Will it all start getting blurry? I already had to squint to try to read things.

Once I was an adult and could afford contact lenses, a new world opened up. Eyes over the hill indeed! Now reality was clear and frankly, kinda harsh in its sharpness.

I waited to wonder what nuance this peaked at 12 meant?

WHY SO TINY?

Then I began to notice, particularly after 55 but a little before, that print on packages was too small to make out. It really seemed smaller. We began to call it bacteria print since it looked like bacteria in a petri dish who seem to not know the alphabet or how to spell well at all.

One explanation I heard a decade or so ago was the hot shot designers were mostly 30 somethings or less and had no idea they were soon to be the vision impaired. I suppose we can attribute homo-my generation is all a sapient for the error of inclusion. It might have even been more sinister than that.

First the smallest print was the ingredient list, which might have information that would seem troubling to one if it was legible. It could have been to save a bit of ink. Now days even the plastic types triangle info for recycling is getting worn away, sometimes a number is somewhere near it. Is that the right kind for our recycling? We only take two of the seven or more types, some places take them all!

Now there are even plastic containers that no matter where you look; no triangle, no 5 0r is that an upside-down 2? No nothing but into the trash.

I am not sure aging and eye degeneration are the only reason for the small print seeming unintelligible, but at times it is true that throw sunlight on the small print and I can read it well, especially without contacts in that restrict eye focusing some. Eyes do seem to need more light but also find it at times too bright and irritating. I cannot say colors have changed at all, seeming as vivid as ever, and with contacts or glasses I still get 15-20 vision. Meaning in case you forgot having 20-20 vision and all; that I can see at 20 feet what normal can only make out at 15. But the ability of the eye to focus does seem to decline.

So you under thirty year olds. Is the small print really tiny or are the oldsters making it up?

Even with a wide screen TV. Some of the small print disclaimer or whatever it is, is both too small to decipher and on too short to care to try.

COMING TO A PETRI DISH NEAR YOU, THE MOVIE OF A LIFETIME: AGING!

Get the popcorn!

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH?

WATCH THE NARRATIVES SPROUTING THAT SEEM TO TAKE HOLD IN THE SOGGY MIDDLE OF THE FIELD OF THE POPULATION.

We have the population poised for mindblank.  Fill in the synaptic connections.

We will forget who got us into the mess we are in as a nation. Fear will turn this mushy swishy middle voter, into fallen over once upon a fear fence leaner’s.

Unfair. May I repeat, unfair and out of context story-lines will be created. Good people will seem sinister, the swishy swashy middle fence sitters will tumble to the side spewing the most vile and veiled innuendo. Its weight pulling them as if by cause of reason.

It happens every time!

Works like a charm!

“Did you hear who so and so really is? Shocking!”

They suggested we were tired of the mud, the out of context and ground up truth made into voodoo dolls, but the needles stick every time!

Sure the confident “polar opposites” may be unswayed by the manure spreader, rightly or wrongly. It is that mind-crunched middle, musing over who knows what; a certain word or concept focus groups have found to be a sword, a hammer, a bullet, who knows. They will make up that confused and ambivalent mind of theirs, or sit out until someone tells them what to think, a friend or family member? Then they will feel the power. Their vote will become pointed, like a weather vane into the breeze of localized mind zeitgeist.

With a heart of wind and metal, they will become; the decider. They may receive a little sticker after that, saying, “I VOTED“, as if that actually meant something to be proud of in their instance.

Then they will return to their field with outstretched arms and funny hat; hay sticking out from their cuffs, hoping against hope, to keep the thoughts from landing in the field and consuming all of their confusion. In this mission they will, until next harvest season, or a fall burn-off, be quite successful.

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